Seven days. That's all the time left I get to spend with this little girl in the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. She has changed my life. She has been my world for three months now.
She has changed so much in such a short time. She's a chubby bunny. She's a smiling giggler. She's a stubborn napper.
I won't lie. I'm a little ready to go back to work. I'm ready to talk to adults and use words that are three syllables or larger. I was talking to Z the other day and I couldn't form words. I said, "I'm not trying to sound...what's the word?...'down-talking.'"
"Condescending?" Z asked.
"Oh, yeah, that's it."
Will I be able to manage adults anymore? Will I have to use words like "down-talking?" Here at home, I just have to calm her down, feed her, clean her. It's easy. In seven days, I'll have to calm people, feed the egos, and clean up messes. I guess it's not that different in some ways; I respect my co-workers, but there is always a lot of politics.
I am scared of going back to work. I don't know that I'll be able to remember all the things I need to remember.
But most of all, I'm going to miss that face. I'm going to miss lying in bed in the morning and kissing her face while she sleeps. The mornings will be a whirlwind of this and that. Years from now if she reads this, I just want her to know I love her and these past few months have been a wonderful experience for me to enjoy having a baby. The first time was just too stressful for me to enjoy. Thank you, C, for giving me a chance to really enjoy being the mom of a baby.
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